Friday Five

Five*… most irritating responses when you politely remind students that they’re in a silent area (and the replies I wish I could give):

5. “You didn’t say anything to them!” (while pointing to students at the other side of the room which I haven’t got to yet)

(Because I haven’t been over there yet, sweetheart, but rest assured I will say the same thing to them as I did to you. I will then come back and tell you off again if you even think about continuing your conversation, and then I’ll stand over you for the next 10 minutes, just to thoroughly cramp your style. Deal with it.)

4. “Yeah, just a second.”

(Don’t you ‘just a second’ me young man! Stop talking to your irritating little friend about the best way to ‘share references’ which we both know really means ‘cheat’ and do some work of your own! In silence!)

3. “We were just leaving.”

(But your intention to leave does not negate the fact that this is a silent area, nor does it mean that your incessant whispering can’t be heard at the other end of the room. Your discussion about whether or not to go shopping can wait until you’ve left the room and the door closes behind you!)

2. “I wasn’t talking…”

(Oh, so I’m just imagining it am I? I didn’t actually hear you talking from 10 feet away, and I also imagined seeing you sitting together at a PC when this is supposed to be an individual study area? Well I should go to a psychiatrist then, but in the meantime, how about you humour me by moving to the Quiet Study floor? Because you wouldn’t want to push me over the edge, would you, not when I’m obviously barking…)

1. “But you’re talking Miss!”

(*explodes in fit of rage and bludgeons students to death with Silent Study Zone signs*)

Got any more irritating ones to share? Leave them in the comments!

This is just an idea I had to make sure that I always post something every Friday that will hopefully be amusing and will allow me to get stuff off my chest. I’ve got a long list to get through, hopefully it will be fun!

4 thoughts on “Friday Five

  1. I once asked a student who’d just answered his phone if he could please take it out to the stairwell (which was about 10 metres away), where we allow phone usage. He promptly gathered up his stuff and stormed out, announcing loudly to whoever he was talking to that he was “being chucked out the library for talking”. Sigh.

  2. I once had to wrestle a kebab off a student who thought it was totally reasonable to bring it into the reading room, in which no food or drink was allowed. I’d have overlooked a packet of sweets or something, but a kebab? I don’t remember what he said, but I do remember he thought I was most unreasonable…

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